Attempt

I'm forcing myself to draw. Simple as that.

The more I sit back and think, the more I realize no matter what I do, I always fall back on art. Always.

I'm spending so much time worrying about what to do with my life and how to accomplish that once I figure things out. Instead of doing what I think would be less stressful, I think I should just fucking stick with this shit.

Maybe I didn't give it a chance?
I really don't know what to think anymore.

I do know, school isn't working out for me. I cannot sit there in a class room doing nothing but reading and learning. I need hands on material. I need something to push me forward.

So, starting today, I'm going to try and make myself draw at least one thing every day. I have to do this. I can't keep going on like this.

A good friend of mine said recently that whenever I'm not drawing, I'm not myself. I'm miserable. Drawing is something that brings me happiness. It's something I'm good at and it's something people look up to me for.

I can't let those I care about down but most of all, I cannot let myself down. Yeah, I'm making a mistake by not going to class today but I don't care. Does it really matter that I go to a 4 year school? Does it really matter that I make it into UC? Yeah, an Associates Degree isn't that outstanding of an accomplishment but for me, it's worth trying for. It's better than giving up.

If I decide I want to further my education, I'll do so later on. Right now, I need to focus on at least accomplishing something. I need to set goals.

• Draw everyday. I don't care if it's on a napkin at work. Just try
• Practice your anatomy. You were getting the hang of it before but now you suck.
• Practice your painting.
• Try to balance out your usage of digital and traditional media.
• Practice still life. It'll benefit you in the long run.
• Don't be afraid to use references. That's just how you learn.
• Most of all, DON'T GIVE UP.

I can do this.